tales from another broken home

littletwiggy @ 2006-10-07T23:18:00

2006-10-08T01:03:33Z

I'm a little bored so I'm gonna get with the chatting about random stuff. Mainly coz I don't know anyone, friends in RL, wise that reads this and I can ramble without worrying that I'll say something stupid to offend them. So....Here goes.

Guys. Something every girl will admit to thinking about a lot. At least every single straight or bi girl and even some taken girls. We probably think about guys in one form or another as much as guys think about sex. So, a lot. To some girls, guys are a mystery. Not so for me. I've always been a tomboy, not so much now but when I was young, I totally was. My major friends were always male except for one, Anna. So, I guess guys make more sense to me. I can't explain it; girls confuse the hell out of me sometimes. They bitch like fuck, change their minds every 10 seconds and spend most of their time wishing they looked like a starved stick insect with fucking insane dress sense. Guys are simple, they know what they like and they stick to it, they'll tell you to your face if they hate you or something you've done even if they're scared shitless of you and yeah, they complain about how they look, unless their cocky sods but they're waaaaaaaaay less obsessive.

But I'm getting on a tangent here. It's an old argument between me and some friends. What I wanted to say is this. I don't understand how different people decide who's hot or not. I mean some people that others drool over, I stand there thinking, "Has everyone gone insane and no one told me?"
I don't have a preconceived notion of hotness. Yeah, there are things I like, but I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not normal. In this case anyway, I'm not normal in any other case for definite. See, I have weird...things. I guess you'd call them fetishes or kinks but they're not. I just like certain things about guys that I can't explain, that other people look at me and think Huh?

See, I don't go for the normal things. Sure, I like a guy with a nice arse and nice eyes. But I have a real thing for more random body parts. Like hip bones. Get me looking at a nice hipbone and I melt, complete non-coherency. And hands, but not just any hands, I like large hands with long fingers and short nails, especially hands with veins on the back when they're clenched into a fist. And I like the hands to be on the end of bony wrists, just...wrists with a bit of ganglyness about them.
That's another thing; I have this saying, gangly in a good way. None of my friends get it. I like a guy to be tall, not too tall, coz I'm tiny but tall. And slender if not skinny with a bit of that not quite used to his body awkwardness, ganglyness. It's hard to make people understand what I mean.
I have an obvious thing for throats and necks as well, heh, lickable. :D
I like hair that's a little long, something to get my fingers into, I like to play with hair, my own included. And I like quirks, flaws. Something that sets a guy apart from others. I guess I've probably rambled on enough and no one's even reading this any more but I'm gonna continue anyway.

I like a guy who gets me, who can hear about the things I've done without freaking. A guy who likes the things I like, not all of them but enough. A guy that understands my obsession with motorbikes, that can tell a good engine from a bad one, who agrees that you can't beat a Harley or a Triumph for decency. A guy who can tell me the make if not the model of a bike by sound alone. A guy that likes cars, classics mind, not BMWs. American muscle cars, a guy who can tell me the make and year of a muscle car just by looking. A guy who knows how a car works, who can understand my need to spend hours under the hood, just tweaking. I want a guy who will listen to country music with me, who likes classic punk and rock, who can stand most music under the sun. A guy who hates dance, trance, club and house music with everything he is. A guy who like fire and doesn't mind me having pyromaniacal tendencies. A guy who doesn't mind that I have gay male friends. Who doesn't care about the time I spend on the 'net reading slash. About the time I spend writing it. A guy who can deal with the clothes I wear and the little habits I have. A guy that doesn't expect me to be normal or sane. A guy who won't care if I sleep with a knife by the bed, just in case, because I can't kick the habit.

Hell, I know it's asking for too much but a girl can dream and I certainly do.

Signing off.
Peace. Out.
Bee.

littletwiggy @ 2006-07-11T11:21:00

2006-07-11T10:23:42Z

Title: Reminders of before. Chapter two.
Author: ItHurtsToSmile.
Disclaimer: oh, I wish. This didn’t happen and I own nothing.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen eventually.
Summary: An old friend of Jensen’s reminds Jensen that love doesn’t have to hurt.
A/n: this is a WIP that I don’t know how long will take to finish. Sorry.
Feedback: is cookies and milk after falling down. I’ll love you forever.

Jared and Jensen walked into Jared’s trailer after work and almost jumped out of their skins when someone spoke, “You two took your sweet time.”
They spun around and sighed with relief when they saw Niko sitting on Jared’s sofa, feet up on the coffee table. They left almost immediately and Jared spent the drive scared for his life, Niko drove like a maniac. It took a third of the normal time to get to Jensen’s place. They spent the evening eating, drinking, talking and watching home videos from Jensen’s school days. Jared learned more about Jensen that night than he had in the whole time he’d known him. The three of them ended up falling asleep in the living room.
~**~
When Jared awoke, the sun was still low in the sky. Jensen was sprawled out in an armchair, still fast asleep. Niko was nowhere to be seen. Stretching sleepily, Jared got up from the sofa he’d crashed out on, he ached gently from sleeping crunched up. After stretching full and long, he sat and watched his friend sleep. Jensen looked so peaceful when he slept. He had one foot on the coffee table, the other thrown out the other way. His face had fallen to the side, even though his arm was crooked behind his head, the other hand resting on his stomach. Still asleep, he scratched at his stomach making his t-shirt ruck up to show off golden skin. Jared felt his mouth go dry as he found himself desperately wanting to know how that stretch of skin tasted. As if he could feel Jared’s eyes on him, Jensen arched his back off the chair, his lips parted and he shifted as if about to waken. Jared blushed furiously and got up, walking into the kitchen to make himself a coffee. Once it was made he noticed the open back door and Niko sitting on the porch. He curled his hands around his cup, letting the smell of strong coffee invade his senses before walking onto the porch. The sky was still a riot of colour over the fields and Jared was stunned by the beauty of it. He didn’t realise he’d made any noise until Niko spoke.
“Jen always loved watching the sunset; you can tell he bought this place for the perfect view. Can’t really blame him though.”
Jared sipped his coffee and looked down at her; she was watching the sky, empty cup by her feet.
She heaved a sigh, “I wish I’d been able to see this sooner. It’s my own fault really; I was the one that wouldn’t speak to him. I hated him for so long, it was stupid. Momma set me straight. It wasn’t his fault that he got out and I don’t have the chance. I was jealous and I believed he was betraying me, silly, huh? Fucking self-centred. I was such a bitch and it’s gonna take a lot to make it up to him. But I know how, or at least I have a good idea.”
She flicked her eyes to his then, looked him over, assessing him. It seemed she found what she was looking for, because she nodded and looked back at the sky. The next few minutes were spent in silence as they watched the sun finish rising.
“I see you’ve found the perk of this place.” Came Jensen’s sleepy voice from behind them.
“It’s beautiful.” Niko breathed, as Jared turned to look at Jensen.
They smiled at each other gently. Niko stood, pressed a kiss to Jensen’s cheek and walked into the house. Jensen moved to stand beside Jared, leaning against the railing of the porch.
“Last night was fun,” Jensen murmured.
“Yeah.” Was Jared’s gentle reply, then he grinned wickedly, “I can’t believe you were a cheerleader, man.”
Jensen hit him gently, “It was fun. And the girls were hot.”
Jared laughed, bumping their shoulders together companionably.
“Hey Jarr, we’re going riding this afternoon. Whaddaya say? Come with us, it’ll be fun.”
Jared grinned, “Sounds fun, it’s been too long since I rode.”
They sorted the details easily and on a whim, Jared hugged Jensen before gathering his stuff and leaving, promising to see them later.

littletwiggy @ 2006-06-01T23:18:00

2006-06-01T22:20:02Z

Title: Reminders of before.
Author: ItHurtsToSmile.
Disclaimer: oh, I wish. This didn’t happen and I own nothing.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen eventually.
Summary: An old friend of Jensen’s reminds Jensen that love doesn’t have to hurt.
A/n: this is a WIP that I don’t know how long will take to finish. Sorry.
Feedback: is cookies and milk after falling down. I’ll love you forever.

Jared Padalecki was sat at a table on one side of the canteen. He was leant back in his seat, drinking a can of dr pepper and watching Jensen Ackles. Jensen was stood against the wall, talking to a woman that Jared had never seen before. She was almost as tall as him, and had long dark hair. She was dressed simply, white t-shirt, blue jeans, and work boots. A lot like Jensen. The main difference was her leather jacket. It was black and swung around her feet, fitted with a flipped up collar. Her black cowboy hat was tilted forward, shadowing her eyes. Her smile was wide and bright white against her coffee skin. One foot was against the wall and her hands were stuffed deep in her pockets. She gave a wide grin, and one of these hands slipped out of her pocket. Her nails were painted black and she wore a black string bracelet with a single bead, just like Jensen’s. Then Jared noticed her necklace, a single black string, also like Jensen’s. He felt an irrational surge of jealousy as she reached up to tug on a lock of Jensen’s hair, murmuring something that made Jensen laugh. He hugged her firmly and whispered into her ear, making her ruffle his hair before walking off. Jensen grabbed a can of soda and walked over to sit opposite Jared.
“Hey Jarr.” Jensen grinned. He had turned his seat so that he was leant on the back bars.
“Hey, who’s the girl?” Jared asked with an answering grin.
“Oh, Niko? I’ve known her forever, we were neighbours from birth. Her parents own the ranch next to ours. We’re the closest friend.” Jensen explained.
“So why haven’t you spoken of her before?” Jared asked, totally confused.
Jensen grinned sheepishly, “We had a bit of a falling out when I left home. We only started talking again when I went home last month. She decided to come and visit for a week or so, just to catch up and hang out like old times.”
“You got anything planned?”
“A couple of things, horse riding, gigs, and stuff like that. Tonight we’re gonna stay home, reminisce, watch old videos. It’s gonna be fun, we’re getting Chinese and some alcohol. You have to come. Niko wants to meet you.”
“Sounds good. When?”
“After work, Niko’s picking me up. She’s got a beaut of a car, a Chevy Impala like the one we use for the show.”
“Back to work” Kripke yelled and the conversation stopped as everyone left.

littletwiggy @ 2006-03-30T11:07:00

2006-03-30T10:08:17Z

"Beautiful Disaster"

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what is after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what is after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what is after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

[Fading]
Beautiful
(Beautiful disaster)
Beautiful disaster

littletwiggy @ 2006-02-24T17:57:00

2006-02-24T18:05:10Z

Title: Splinter.
Author: ItHurtsToSmile.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, great, now you’ve depressed me, thanks.
Summary: What if Clark wasn’t angry about Lana but about Lex.
~**~
Clark watched as Lana kissed Lex, his blood boiled with anger. How could she kiss Lex, she had always said she hated him and Lex acted like she was just an irritating kid with a princess complex. Clark was angrier than he’d ever been before and getting even seemed like the best idea he’d heard. He super sped into the mansion and pulled the electrics from the wall, taking out the lights in one fell swoop. He knew Lex would come to investigate and it was exactly what he wanted, he waited till he heard Lex leave Lana and sped into the room to confront her.
“Clark!” she exclaimed, “Everyone’s looking for you.”
“I know.” He sneered, advancing on her, “I saw something recently that makes me mad.”
“Clark, you’re ill. The rocks, its making you see things. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you, right?” she said placing a hand on his arm.
Clark shook her off scowling, “I saw you kiss him Lana. I don’t know how you made him love you. How could you hurt me like that? You’re just like all the rest. You want to take away everyone and everything that I love. You don’t want me to be happy. Because you can’t have me, you’ll take away the person I love more than anything else, is that it?” his voice rose in volume as he advanced on her again. Lana grabbed the gun from Lex’s desk and pointed it at Clark with a shaking hand, “I don’t want to hurt you Clark.” She wavered.
Clark sneered, “I want to hurt you.” He growled and swung her against the wall, crushing her wrist till she dropped the gun. Then he threw her across the room, watching gleefully as she smashed through a few things before hitting the wall.
“I always wanted to do that.” He remarked when she didn’t move. Then he listened carefully for Lex’s footsteps. He was running. Clark yelled his name and set off in the direction the footsteps had gone, using every trick he had to locate Lex in the huge castle. Lex was hiding, in a storage space. Clark yelled his name once more, and then went after him.
“Clark, please.” He begged, “What did you do to Lana?”
Clark’s face darkened with anger and hurt, “why do you care about her?” he asked.
When Lex didn’t answer, Clark knew his worst fears had been confirmed. He grabbed Lex and held him against the wall by the throat with one hand.
“How could you do this to me? I trusted you Lex. I thought you were different. I thought you loved me, but no, you’re just like them. You made me believe and as soon as my back was turned I see you kissing her.” He ranted as Lex gasped for breath.
“Clark, stop!” came a familiar voice.
~**~
Clark looked around himself in confusion and then the events of the day came flooding back and he realised what he’d done.
“Oh god, Lex!” he thought and raced to Lex’s side, automatically checking his pulse and breathing. He was unconscious.
“Oh god.” He murmured repeatedly as he scooped Lex into his arms, trying to stop the tears that wanted to escape his squeezed shut eyelids.
“Clark!” came Lana’s worried voice from behind him and he turned slowly, opening his eyes.
Lana had Lex’s security team with her and she looked at the scene before her as tears began to trickle down his cheeks then said, “oh god, Clark, what have you done?”
~**~
Clark paced in front of the hospital room door, trying to get up the courage to go in. he had hurt Lex badly, over something he’d imagined. He’d gotten angry over something he’d had no right to, and he’d said some things he didn’t think he could take back. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before entering the room. Chloe was sat at Lex’s bedside and she smiled at him before mentioning something about coffee and leaving. Lex was sat up against the pillows and he looked okay. Clark moved closer with a tentative smile. He opened his mouth to speak but Lex interrupted.
“Chloe told me what happened. How you were infected by the silver rock and it made you see things, gave you extraordinary powers. I understand. It’s just a good thing you snapped out of it when you did.”
Clark gave a wavering smile and sat in Chloe’s vacated seat. “I’m sorry Lex. I hurt you, I can’t bear that. And I had no right to do or say the things I did. It’s up to you who you kiss and I know I imagined that but I shouldn’t have got as mad as I did.” Clark blushed and looked away. Lex’s face was so open and Clark knew he’d hurt Lex more than just physically. He half-jumped when a hand tangled in his hair, turning him back to look at Lex.
“Did you mean what you said to Lana and to me? About love? Or was it the rock?” Lex asked gently.
Clark blushed even more, “I meant it, it’s not exactly how I wanted you to find out.” He answered in a small voice.
“And the other stuff? You said you trusted me, that you believed I loved you, that I was different from the others.”
Clark nodded, unable to talk because of the unshed tears clouding his eyes and choking up his throat.
“Clark, look at me.” Lex murmured, stroking his hair.
Clark bit his lip and looked up. Lex was smiling the soft smile that Clark had come to think of as his own, “Clark, you were right. I tried to deny it for so long but I realised it last night when I heard you were ill. I love you Clark Kent.”
Clark gaped for a moment then gave a 100 watt smile like only he could. Lex tugged him closer and Clark perched on the edge of the bed. Lex smiled again and brushed a hand over Clark’s cheek before closing the distance between them and pressing their lips together. Clark sighed happily, settling his hands on Lex’s hips. He knew now that everything was gonna be okay.
~**~
If you spot the pop culture reference, say in your review. The first to reply with it gets a one-shot all of their own. Anything they want.
Bee. Xxx.